Untangling the Knot by Unknown

Author:Unknown
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Ooligan Press
Published: 2015-02-02T11:08:00+00:00

Bê Đê Pride

Minh Pham

On Sunday, August 5, 2012, over a hundred bikers and motorcyclists, with rainbow flags in their hands and colored paint on their faces, rode through the streets of Hanoi for Vietnam’s first gay pride parade. It was a small parade. The streets were narrow, and the sidewalks were even narrower. There was barely enough space for two motorcycles to ride side by side.

The marchers did not obtain a permit for the parade. There was no support from the police. But there was no resistance from the police either. They allowed the parade to proceed.

Just a month before the parade, the prime minister of Vietnam received a proposal to include same-sex marriage in his country’s doctrine. He responded positively, affirming the reality of the growing numbers of gay couples, and stating that the only issues left to address were legal ones. If the proposal is adopted, Vietnam will be the first Asian country to allow same-sex marriage.

I was a graduate student at UC Riverside when I read about these events on Facebook. It came as a shock because I thought it would be decades before my birth country would make such a leap forward in gay acceptance.

My father took me to a wedding in Saigon when I was five. The streets were covered with red firecracker shells and yellow chrysanthemum petals.

Walls of people lined the streets, and my father lifted me onto his shoulders so I could watch the ceremony. I plugged my ears to muffle the loud pops from the firecrackers, red fish tails of bursting Tootsie Roll-sized papers.

The bride wore a red áo dài, a silk dress with long slits on both sides running up to her hip. For the wedding, the dress was decorated with an embroidered phoenix. Her father stood next to her with a smile and waited for the groom’s family to arrive. In Vietnam it is tradition that the groom walk from his house to the bride’s house to ask her parents for her hand in marriage.

When the groom entered the street, more firecrackers were lit. The groom’s family carried red metal tins with fruit, rice wine, and tobacco leaves to offer to the bride’s ancestors.

Everyone cheered. The groom wore a black French tuxedo.

My father pressed his elbows against my legs so that I wouldn’t fall and clapped along with the crowd. He looked so happy for the new couple.

We had known the groom for years; he had helped build our house.

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